Beautiful failure

Ever bought an artichoke and tried to cook it? Like a whole fucking artichoke?

If you’re not sure, look below. These are artichokes.

Most of us only know artichokes for their delicious meaty hearts. Great on salads, pizzas, and sandwiches.  I was pretty excited when we got these beauties in our CSA box this week. But I probably should have taken a minute to learn about the artichoke before tearing into it.

If you’re thinking about just winging it, be forewarned, there is something in it that is called a “choke,” which apparently is aptly named.

Anyhow, we didn’t google artichokes before deciding to try to cook with them. We knew we had to peel off the outer leaves, and we assumed that if we just pulled off the leaves, eventually we would find the heart. Umm, nope. That’s not how it works.

We kept peeling.

And peeling.

When we eventually came to an empty center, we just assumed that they weren’t fully developed artichokes. And we fucking threw them away without even a second thought.

Until I did have a second thought…

What if we were wrong about the artichokes? Like, completely wrong. I couldn’t shake the idea that the artichokes were holding a secret. Turns out, they were.

You can actually eat most of the artichoke – not just the heart. And the heart is hidden in the base of the artichoke, under the choke. We had peeled down to the choke and the small glassy thistles stuck in my finger, which is probably another reason I was so quick to throw them away.

If you are thinking about trying to figure out the secret of the artichoke, you need to watch this video. She explains the whole thing.

So will I try to peel and cook an artichoke in the future? Hell no! Way too much fucking work. Plus, the way this lady describes them, the leaves of the artichoke taste like the love child of celery and asparagus. As amazing as asparagus is, celery can only be tolerated with a mound of peanut butter and raisins in a kindergarten classroom. This is one vegetable heart that I’ll continue buying in a can from the store.

Luckily, our CSA has a trade table, so if they give us more artichokes next week, we can trade them in for something a little easier to handle!

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