It feels weird to have waited so long.

To say it, in the first place.

And then, to have not said anything since.

I want to divulge everything and also nothing.

Mostly I just want to write about something else.

If you’re curious though…

it was worth it.

So fucking worth it.

It rippled

inward and outward…

…and sideways

It changed everything.

(and nothing.)

It opened up a new space

of feeling

(what I didn’t even know was left to feel)

of talking

(which I didn’t know I wanted)

of listening

to so many who also felt the sudden desperate need to

say something.

to the world,

or to their friends,

or only to themselves or to someone they barely know (me).

It led to validation and support.

But also to devastating realizations

about my own shortcomings.

my complicity in this system.

do we only care about our own pain?

And turn away when the accusations are inconvenient or uncomfortable? Not personal? Or too personal?

It led to confrontations and conversations,

to attempts at resolution,

or understanding?

or, with any luck, prevention?

Is it fixed?

How could it be fixed?

Is it over?

What is over?

All I can say is that it is done.

It has been released into the world.

And the world, finally, is allowing for its acknowledgement.

And in acknowledgement, continues the ripples –

outward and outward and outward…