It feels weird to have waited so long.
To say it, in the first place.
And then, to have not said anything since.
I want to divulge everything and also nothing.
Mostly I just want to write about something else.
If you’re curious though…
it was worth it.
So fucking worth it.
inward and outward…
It changed everything.
It opened up a new space
(what I didn’t even know was left to feel)
(which I didn’t know I wanted)
to so many who also felt the sudden desperate need to
to the world,
or to their friends,
or only to themselves or to someone they barely know (me).
It led to validation and support.
But also to devastating realizations
about my own shortcomings.
my complicity in this system.
do we only care about our own pain?
And turn away when the accusations are inconvenient or uncomfortable? Not personal? Or too personal?
It led to confrontations and conversations,
to attempts at resolution,
or, with any luck, prevention?
Is it fixed?
How could it be fixed?
Is it over?
What is over?
All I can say is that it is done.
It has been released into the world.
And the world, finally, is allowing for its acknowledgement.
And in acknowledgement, continues the ripples –
outward and outward and outward…